Intersecting Identities: Navigating Filipino American Trauma Bonds"

In the absent of great minds we hear that often times we tend to have a lot of repressed emotions coming from our parents due to the lack of emotions that was process growing and we give this sense of emotions that we have to always be trying to repay a sacrifice whether that is something that have been thinking in the back of our minds. In usual times, this type of think does not really come until we are at a certain age where we are feeling in the need that we can  give a certain focus.  In the Filipino family, there is one cultural value that holds a lot of weight in our shoulders and usually overtime it gives this indirect expectations.

**trigger warning if you are going to read further on here are some phrases you might have heard growing up in a filipino household:

“Wala kang utang na loob” 

“Bahala Ka Sa Buhay Mo”  

“Sika lang iti makaamo ti kayatmo ti biag.”

  “Ay nako, Awan talaga ti Nakem mo, sika lang ti makaamo iti biagmo.”

**Nakem = a moral standard among Ilokano; the core of oneʻs being) 

Growing up in an Ilokano household, there are often phrases that our parents indirectly say to us that might have bled into our hearts. These were not in any harm to hurt us but it was said because they cared for us, ever heard of tough love? I know in a typical Filipino household we see our eldest siblings tend to hold a lot of expectations in their shoulders trying to be tough and keeping the family together but being most like the second parent, the middle child who tends to be the forgotten child, and the youngest child who may seem to be the favorite child who gets what they want and may it look easy for them. But in some cases, this may not be the case depending on the family. For me, I can say that I am grateful to have a family that is supportive and understanding, I know they do so much to be there but at times there are moments when you feel like you, yourself arenʻt doing much. You tend to feel this guilt built up in your shoulder and chest because most of it comes from the suppressed emotions that has not been properly process. 

Stay tuned to One Downʻs Mental Health Series: Trauma Bond comes out today, where they have a mom and daughter have a conversation about body positivity and their relationship with self image, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdFpA4Jx4mI