Written by: Jordan Aspiras
I sit here. and I dig.
searching for roots that are nowhere to be found.
then I hear it,
"baby, you are a child of the sea.
so take a boat. and go.
sail the Ocean,
search the waves
and the shores for who you are."
I am from a land that was unwillingly taken.
I can feel my soul,
pulling me back.
that piece of me
that is connected to the waves
of the Ocean.
that piece of me
that isn’t
quite
sure if now is the right time
to set sail on the journey
that is discovering my identity.
to a land where I have never been.
a land that only exists as images in my head.
and then there is the land
that I will never know
because of centuries of
colonization and imperialism.
there is something unrelentingly
pulling me back.
skeptics tell me,
"you're crazy" and
"don't be dramatic,
you just want to live by the ocean."
but they don't understand.
if I could have it my way,
I'd live beneath the waves,
build castles in the sand,
making my home in the kelp forests.
because the Ocean has always been
the place where I feel most at home.
the Ocean,
does not judge me,
or critique me
for trying to make sense of my identity.
the Ocean
wraps me in waves of love
and reminds me,
"you are the descendant
of the people of the bay."
as I sit here,
I'm homesick for a place that I do not know.
but I am thankful for the people
that wrap me in love like the``
making this journey less lonely.